Simple Question, Dangerous Results
by Hotaru Tomoe
Summary: Remember that guy Fuji? The one who literally destroyed the Aoi-ya? Well, me friend and I wondered about this guy a great deal. So ensued these little interview attempts to figure out that question: Just who is this Fuji? Hope I survive the attempts...
1. Interview Attempt # 1...

Author's note:  Wow, you're actually gonna try and read this?  Congrats on your courage my friend!  Please keep in mind that this was written of the top of my head after a fleeting thought.  Oh yea, and I wanna thank my friend Max the otaku who gave me the idea for this in the first place ^_^x.  And before we go on, just to inform all that the Kenshin-gumi and all other characters in the series belong to Watsuki Nobuhiro, Shounen Jump, Shueisha and Sony Entertainment.  Wish they did belong to me, but unfortunately, they don't.  Now we go off on these interviews to find out exactly who and what this Fuji character is.  Will we survive it, now that's the real question…

Interview Attempt #1… 

January 2nd...2002...2:43pm  
  


An interviewer from the hit show "People you want to know about and its our painful job to find out" approaches the newly build Aoi-ya in search of a certain giant x-bad guy. He should not be too hard to find she thinks, considering his size. And like a true reporter, she does not use the front door...she instead goes around the back and sneaks in that way. 

She quietly goes past a room where a lot of people are talking and the loud voice of a girl exclaiming "Aoshi-sama! Aoshi-sama! Where is my Aoshi-sama!?!" can be heard from a mile away. Thinking all will be safe, she continues through the house. All she finds are empty rooms. But then again, he would not be in any of the rooms. She decides to try another part when the inevitable unlucky pain of being a nosy reporter strikes. 

She is walking past the door of that same noisy room when the door comes slamming down with the same girl on top yelling "are you here Aoshi-sama!!!" She tramples over the door, followed by a blacked hair girl running after her, followed by a hyperactive kid yelling "Busu! Busu!" after her. After them comes a woman with long black hair laughing maniacally at the first girl who is blushing furiously now. This passing scene would have been very amusing to the reporter if she had not been caught under the fallen door when it began. 

Slowly (and painfully) she pushes the door off and gets up, not caring if there are more people behind them. Just when she thought the day couldn't get any worse, she hears the yelling of a very loud and drunk sounding man behind her trying to talking to someone named Kenshin who seems to be saying something like "Orororororo!" when the door is giving a mighty kick, sending it, and the reporter, flying off into oblivion. 

"Oh well" she thinks as the ground a mile away comes closer "at least I still get hazards pay"  
  


Ms. Hotaru Tomoe, reporter unconscious at the moment

A/N:  Yea, yea, I know its short.  Try coming up with something like that at one in the morning.  I had waaaaay too much chocolate that day =^_^=


	2. Interview Attempt # 2...

The insanity continues with…

Interview Attempt # 2… 

January 3...2002...

After the first and painful attempt at an interview with a certain Fuji by reporter Ms. Tomoe failed, another, hopefully safer attempt was made. Interviews with certain people about their views on the individual of topic were made... 

Interview #1---Himura Kenshin

Ms. Tomoe: So, Mr. Himura, can you tell our viewers your personal opinion of Fuji?

Kenshin: Oro? Who is Fuji?

Ms. Tomoe: . . . . . . . . 

Interview #2---Sagara Sanosuke

Sanosuke: What the hell happened to you?

Ms Tomoe: *eye twitches* I ran into a drunk rooster. Now, tell me what you know about Fuji?

Sanosuke: Is that a town somewhere?

Ms. Tomoe: -__-

Interview #3---Members of the Oniwa banshu

Ms. Tomoe: I understand that you two ladies where present when the giant Fuji attacked the Aoi-ya?

Member 1: Yes we were.

Ms. Tomoe: And what did you think when you saw him?

Member 2: He was very large, I guess? I didn't really pay attention to him!

Ms. Tomoe: *to herself* How could you not pay attention to the 50 ft man destroying your home?

Member 1: Did you see that man Hiko!

Member 2: He was all I could see!!!

Member 1 & 2: I think I'm in love!!! 

Ms. Tomoe: I think I'm gonna get fired.

Interview #4---Hiko Seijuro, last interview attempt

Random female members of audience: Hiko-san! Hiko-san!

       Look over here!!

       Oh he's so handsome!

Hiko: *award winning smile*

Ms. Tomoe: *rather annoyed* You fought Fuji, tell me what you know about him, NOW!

Hiko: Well, *cracks another smile, every female audience member faints* he has superb fighting skills, would probably have been a much better student than that baka Kenshin.

Ms. Tomoe: Yes, yes, we know that he's an amazing fighter, but what can you tell us about his origins?

Hiko: *smiles* Not a thing.

Ms. Tomoe: *BOOM!*...................

Hiko: Would somebody please help her off from the floor!?

Ms. Tomoe: *swirly eyes* Orororororororororororo!


	3. ...Hello?

…Hello?

After the first few interview attempts, we now find our reporter Ms. Tomoe back in the hospital recovering from shock and the broken leg that Hiko gave her when he tried to help. She is lying in her bed, it is a nice sunny day, and she is thinking how nice it is that no 19th century people are around to bother her...  
  


*Ring Ring* *Ring Ring*  
*Click*  
  


Ms. Tomoe: Hello?  
  


...Ah, Ms. Tomoe, so nice to hear you again. This is Mr. Boss (HER boss)  
  


Ms. Tomoe: *surprised* Mmmmr. Boss! What can I help you with sir?  
  


Mr. Boss: Well my dear, all of us are very anxious for you to have a safe recovery and return to work. To help liven up your spirits, I've sent a few people over there to cheer you up!  
  


Ms. Tomoe:.... you didn't?  
  


*BAM!*  
  


Sanosuke: Oi! There you are, the boss man sent us all over here ta cheer ya up! Took us hours to find this room. Where's that sake he promised...  
  


Ms. Tomoe: *clutching the phone for dear life*  
  


Kenshin: Ah, Tomoe-dono, so nice to see you again.  
  


Kaoru: Yahiko! Don't touch anything! Oh, Ms. Tomoe! How are you feeling?  
  


Ms. Tomoe: *phone is beginning to break*  
  


Yahiko: hey Busu, why are we here in a 21st century hospital when we live in 19th century Japan?  
  


Kaoru: Don't look at me, I'm not the one writing this thing.  
  


Megumi: Oh will you look at all of these modern medicines! I'm definitely taking some of these home back to Tokyo.  
  


Sanosuke: There are so many little buttons everywhere...what's this do...  
  


*CRUNCH!*  
  


Kenshin: Sano! What did you do! Ms. Tomoe's bed is eating her!  
  


Sanosuke: I just pushed this thing! How'd I know that would happen? Wonder what this one ...  
  


*VROOM* *CRUNCH*  
  


Kaoru: Ah!! Ms. Tomoe! Don't worry, we'll get you out! Sano give me that thing!  
  


Sanosuke: Leave me alone!  
  


*CRUNCH*  
  


Kaoru: Your just making things worse!  
  


*VROOM*  
  


Sanosuke: This ain't my fault! They shouldn't put 19th century anime characters in a present day hospital!  
  


*CRUNCH*  
  


Ms. Tomoe: *Swirly eyes state* I'm being punished for something...I know it...*CRUNCH*

A/N:  Hmmm…perhaps I should start tracking down Fuji…would save myself from a lot of pain…literally…


	4. On the Trail

On the Trail… 

            Once again we join our reporter Ms. Tomoe, this time in the beautiful 19th century Japan!  After she managed to escape…uh, I mean was let out from the hospital, she decided that rather to sit back and wait for those idiots at work to track down Fuji, she would do it herself.  And so we find her traveling along the outskirts of Tokyo, were Fuji was last seen.  Unfortunately for Ms. Tomoe, she has to travel through Tokyo in order to continue, and hopefully for her without running into a certain group.  If only fate were that kind…

            She stops on a bridge and takes out a map, in order to properly navigate around the city.  She pays no attention to the people walking by even though they stare at her strangely with her modern day clothes.  She hears a couple of kids coming, and still pays no notice…but they, and their companions, do notice her.

Oro?  Ms. Tomoe?

Ms. Tomoe: . . . . No…it's not possible…

            She looks up, and to her great surprise (and horror) the entire Kenshin-gumi, plus two small children are standing right in front of her.

Kaoru: *excited* Ah!  It is her! 

Yahiko: Strange meeting you here.

Sano: Oi!  It's the reporter lady!  How ya doing? 

Ms. Tomoe: Almost fully healed and plan to keep it that way thank you.

Kaoru:  You HAVE to join us for lunch!  

Ms. Tomoe:  But I…

Kaoru:  Kenshin!  Let's go to the Akabeko! 

Kenshin: But Kaoru-dono, we don't have any money. 

Yahiko: We spent it all this morning.

Sano: We could put it on my tab, or the reporter lady here could pay…

Ms. Tomoe: I could pay?

Kaoru: You can!  Ah you're such a good friend!

Ms. Tomoe: But I…

Kaoru: *grabs Ms. Tomoe's arm* Let's go everyone!

            After a nice and expensive meal at the Akabeko, and several escape attempts, our reporter finds herself invited back to the Kamiya dojo.  Kaoru and Yahiko practice in the dojo, Kenshin is finishing the laundry with Sano who is taking a "little" rest on the porch, and Ms. Tomoe's newfound friends for life Ayame and Suzume are finding new ways to style her hair.  After their daily training is done, Kaoru and Yahiko join Ms. Tomoe and the children on the porch, and Kaoru strikes up a conversation with her about why she is here in Tokyo…

Ms. Tomoe: Well I am looking for Fuji still to interview him.

Sano:  Fuji!

            Everybody looks up at him.

Sano: Fuji is a mountain!!!

Ms. Tomoe: *sweatdrop*

Kaoru: *hits him over the head* Baka!  Not Mt. Fuji, Fuji the person!

Yahiko: You mean Fuji the giant.  That guy was huge!

Ms. Tomoe: And speaking of Fuji I must really start looking for him.

Kaoru:  Oh but do you really have to go?  Well, if you have to, then you must promise to come back and visit us!  And even stay awhile!

Ayame: *happy* Yah!  Stay here for a long time Hotaru-nee-chan!!!

Suzume:  Stay nee-chan stay!

            And so, after somehow promising to come back for a two weeks stay at the dojo, our reporter finally gets on her way.  She was very surprised that she got away in one piece.  Too bad that at this exact moment Kaoru flung Kenshin into the side of a wall which cause a tree to fall **on top** of Ms. Tomoe…ah well, tomorrow's another day…I hope…


	5. Still Searching

A/N: Sheesh, how long has it been?  Since January!  Wow have I been lazy.  Well everyone, now that school is FINALLY over I have the time to write again!  Am in the mix of starting a new story, but this, being my little writers block story, was calling me back.  So here is another pointless chapter of me trying to find Fuji…still.  I'm wondering if anyone is still interested in reading this.  Oh well! =^_^=  

Still Looking…

            Over two weeks later, we rejoin our reporter Ms. Tomoe as she sets off once again in her search for Fuji.  That little tree that just had to fall on her caused Ms. Tomoe to again be trapped in the clutches of the Kenshin-gumi.  She had stayed with Megumi while her wounds healed with daily visitations from all her friends.  Sure Kenshin and Kaoru and the rest of them were all very nice people, but it just seemed that accidents always occurred to Ms. Tomoe when they were in the same room.  She couldn't count how many times Megumi had dropped something on her head when Sanosuke came around.  Or when things ended up being thrown at her when Kenshin and Kaoru would arrive looking rather disheveled and have to face the bantering of everyone else.  So, after two weeks, Ms. Tomoe couldn't take it anymore and finally resolved to leave.  Of course she was expected back to visit them and would have to go at the risk of Kaoru hunting her down for life, but that was something she knew she would never escape.

            The first thing she had done was call her boss, Mr. Boss, and check if anything new had come up.  He of course greeted her cheerfully after remembering who she was, and then proceeded to banter her with questions on her trip as if she was on vacation!  Then, the man stupidly asked how she was calling him from 19th century Japan when cell phones didn't even exist yet…this caused her cell phone to disappear as somebody in the universe finally realized the mistake.  Thank Kami he hadn't said anything about the laptop.

            So, to put a long story short (too late), we find Ms. Tomoe on the search for Fuji…again.

"You know, it would have been helpful if I'd bothered to learn Japanese before coming here."  Ms. Tomoe said to no one in particular as she tried to make out the sign at the fork in the road.  As she was reading, or rather, trying to read the sign, she failed to notice a carriage coming toward her at an alarming speed.  The carriage passed by without stopping, leaving Ms. Tomoe plastered to the ground with horse hoofs and wheel tracks imprinted to her back.

"That's it!!!"  She exclaimed, painfully jumping up, "I'm quitting this damn project and becoming a rurouni!!!"

"Are you alright Ms. Rurouni?"

            Ms. Tomoe turned around at the newcomer, somewhat embarrassed that her little outburst had been heard.  She found herself staring into the blue eyes of a boy, with very light silver hair, and worn out looking blue traveling clothes.

"AHH!"  She exclaimed suddenly, startling the boy, "I know you!  Your Seta Soujiro!"

"Yes, I am.  Pleased to meet you Ms. Rurouni, but are you alright?"  He asked again.

"First of all, the name is Hotaru, Hotaru Tomoe.  I'm a reporter traveling on an assignment.  I'm not a rurouni, that was just a little threat I was making after that *#@&$^! carriage ran over me.  And second, I'm fine, very used to this king of stuff happening to me."

"Oh, ok then."  Soujiro said, and started to continue on his way.  A moment later he was knocked to the ground as Ms. Tomoe grabbed onto his legs.

"Wait a minute!  This is perfect!  You can help me!!!"

*sweatdrop* "Uh, Ms. Tomoe..?"

"Yes?"

"You have my attention, so would you mind getting off of me?"

            A few hours and one hot meal later, Ms. Tomoe and Soujiro are back on the road.  After explaining her situation, Soujiro gladly offered his help to Ms. Tomoe.  Now they were on their way to Hokkaido, where Fuji was rumored to be.  She sent an email to Mr. Boss about her progress, praying that he wouldn't mention the fact that the Internet was non-existent back in this era.  Traveling with Soujiro was a lot less stressful than the past few weeks had been.  Maybe because nothing life threatening had happened to her as of yet…but she wasn't going to start asking questions now.

"Ah, Hotaru-san, look here."  Soujiro pointed.  "This sign says that there is only one more day left until we reach Hokkaido."

"Really!?!  That's wonderful!  The first thing I plan to do is take a long bath, then eat a good meal, and then do some sightseeing!"

"Hotaru-san, weren't you supposed to be looking for Fuji?"

"Yes yes but a reporter does need some rest and relaxation once in awhile.  I need to reenergize myself!"

"We had better move out of the way, looks like there are a bunch of people coming."  Soujiro said and moved Ms. Tomoe to the side of the road while she continued to fantasize about this little 'vacation.'  The group approached them and was about to pass when…

"I knew I wasn't seeing things!  It's Hotaru-chan!!!"

            Ms. Tomoe's dream sequence ended when she heard that voice.

"I knew it…it was too good to be true…" She said as she looked at Kaoru, Kenshin, Yahiko, Sano, Megumi, Ayame and Suzume, who were all looking back at her excitedly.  "Ok Ms. Author, you can begin the nightmare sequence now…"


	6. Count to zero, scream and run away

A/N: People are a bit OOC here, but oh well!  It's my insanity…I mean story here!  Read it, enjoy scream along with me, and remember I still don't own these people!

Count to zero, scream and run away…

"Chinese water torture…no, too much effort involved.  That cliff we passed looked pretty promising, but a little too messy for my tastes.  Hot water scalding…that could work, if we ever GET there!"

          Once again we join our lovely reporter Ms. Hotaru Tomoe on her way to Hokkaido thinking of all the different ways she could thank her friends the Kenshin-gumi for finding her yet again.  Thanks to their very warm and over-energetic greeting to her, Ms. Tomoe is currently being carried by Soujiro piggyback style.  

"Hmm…or maybe I could just use a sword…nice one swipe…"

Soujiro:  Ano…are you all right Hotaru-san?

Ms. Tomoe (from now on just known as Hotaru thanks to her wonderful friends): I said that out loud, didn't I?

Soujiro: Hai, you did.

Hotaru: Can I borrow your sword?

Soujiro: No

Hotaru: Just for a minute when we get there?

Soujiro: Too late I heard you…and still no.

          As was noted before, the Kenshin-gumi was very excited upon finding Hotaru on their own way to Hokkaido.  After pulling Kaoru, Yahiko, Ayame and Suzume off of her and Kenshin and Sano off of Soujiro, Hotaru learned that they intended to spend a few days relaxing at the hot springs.

Kaoru: And now you can come and join us!!!  

Hotaru: * Backing up *

Yahiko: Now this vacation is beginning to look up!

Hotaru: * Backing up *

Ayame: Hotaru-nee-chan can play with us now!  

Suzume: Nee-chan!  We can do your hair again!

Hotaru: * Still backing up *

Megumi: And the shopping will be twice as fun now!

Kaoru: With Hotaru here too, and once Aoshi and Misao get here, we'll have a blast!

Hotaru: * Clutching to Soujiro for dear life *  help…me…

          After that, and several attempts by Sano at Soujiro's life, the group began moving again.  Hotaru tried to keep walking straight, she really did, but now that the 'group' was together again, all that pent up energy just had to be released.  And they just had to use her and that tree and that damn rock.  And now with her almost broken ankle and the promise to meet them at the hotel, Soujiro and Hotaru make their way steadily to Hokkaido.

Soujiro: Himura and the rest off them seemed very happy to see you.

Hotaru: Painfully so.

Soujiro: I can't imagine why you kept trying to run down all those different paths.

Hotaru: You just HAD to stop me, didn't you?

Soujiro: * Smiling * Life seems SO much better with you around.

Hotaru: You just didn't want to be left alone with them.

Soujiro: That too.

Hotaru: Figures…I get to be teamed up with the only non-clueless person in this Popsicle joint and he has to use me to develop his sense of humor.

Soujiro: I'm getting better at it, aren't I?

Hotaru: Oh your wit astounds me.

          Humor and sarcasm aside, the pair FINALLY made it to Hokkaido.  And of course when Kaoru said to meet them in the Hotel, she failed to mention which hotel, as there were multiple hotels around them.  This only prompted our supposed reporter into another one of her fits.

Hotaru: * In a make believe cheery voice * Meet us at the hotel…well have a room reserved for you…don't worry, we'll take care of everything…LIKE HELL THEY WILL!!!

Soujiro: Hotaru-san, calm down!

Hotaru: * Raving lunatic voice * Why the HELL should I calm down!  It's happening AGAIN!

Soujiro: . . . . Uh…Hotaru-san…

Hotaru: Why does this always happen to me!?!  

Soujiro: Hotaru-san…you should…

Hotaru: I'm a good girl…I payed attention in school…I listened to my mother…I get all my reports done in a timely manner…

Soujiro: You should really…look…

Hotaru: And they had to give me THIS assignment!  Now I've made eternal friends who I will never be rid off and I CAN'T FIND THEM WHEN I REALLY NEED TOO!!!  WHERE IS THAT DAMN RED-HAIRED RUROUNI!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  

Fuji: * Looking down * Excuse me…I saw a red-haired man walking down the street.

Hotaru: * Still hysterical *  Was he in a big group!?!  Which way did they go!?!

Fuji: They went into that hotel * Points down at hotel right smack in front of them *

Hotaru: THANK YOU!!!  FINALLY!!!

Fuji: No problem * Hops over a house and walks away in the other direction *

Hotaru: Now lets get in there Seta!!!  

Soujiro: Uh…Hotaru-san…

Hotaru: No buts!!!  I need food right now or someone is gonna…get…it… * turns around * That…

Soujiro: * Smiles to the gawking people passing by * Yes, that was…

Hotaru: This…

Soujiro: Yes, this is impossible…

Hotaru: I'm gonna…

Soujiro: * Sets her down and covers his ears * Yes you can scream…

Hotaru: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To be continued .     .     .

A/N: * Still in shock * 

Chinese water torture…starting to sound good…


End file.
